The thing is

That one moment when you click with some one but everyone looks differently at you, but why wtf is the point you think you know me but hello you fucking don't, I have a life yea I'm in love but it's none and I mean none of your damn life, that one one moment you cry and it doesn't stop coz you can't stop, the thing with life is you don't know what's around the corner, is it dope love hugs kisses or a cigarette you never know do you? Tomorrow could be my last day and I not wake up and never get to hold you again. The thing is I could not wake up and never be there to talk to you again but what would you do? Nothing coz you don't care do you???? No you don't.......



The one moment in time that everything drops and you lose absolutely everything..... Yea well I have :( ive got nothing and never will I'm a lone wolf I fuck everything up so I stick on my own........



good bye world. Good. Bye life. Good bye Hun........

The thing is

One moment I'm there then I'm gone, one moment I'm high then I'm not one moment I'm free  and happy the next it's gone and been taken away from me and all I'm doing is sitting here in a corner with blood every where crying out for you to come hold me but your no where here........ The thing is that you don't know when your last day will be, or what's around the corner, is it dope? Hugs? Kisses? Happiness? Sadness? A cigarette? A family? Or death?


I'm pretty sure the thing is that today is my last day and I won't be back once I'm gone I'm  gone, there's nothing left here for me so this is my good bye, and I won't be returning,


I will never forget what you did nor forgive you...  Won't be seeing you again this is final for me goodbye..... I'm gone the bloods pouring more now I'll be gone in a few minutes.... Just never forget me that's all I want you to promise me....

Help!!

Have you ever noticed how when you get bullied its almost impossible to tell any one other than the fact that you scared for your life from the bully becasue you dont know if there going to do anything more to you other than making your life a living hell!!! But then when you finally stand up for your self and say your not going to put up with being bullied anymroe you get into trouble and the bully goes running crying to a teacher or their parents (must admit it is funny) after all the tears youve shed for this pathetic person, everyones excuse is well theyve had bad stuff happen to them (WHAT AND I HAVEN'T) what sort of excuse is that? its not one becasue you dont know the pain and hurt ive gone through you dont know my lfie story you dont know why i am the way i am (other than the fact god created me this way) theres no other way to know what i go through day in and day out becasue of you all the rumours and gossip you spread about me the way you talk to me the way you look at me the way you push, hit me and beat me you dont see the pain you cause me!! the way you made my life has created me into the moster i am today becasue i cant take the pain and hurt no one can normally id brush it off but ive reached my limit and im not going to put up wioth it any mroe! theres no need for me to!! all i want to do is move on with my life but i cant you hurt me so bad when ever i go out or looka t my self in the mirror (well i cant even do that any more becasue of the torment)you ruined my life if only you could see what i went through and still am going through becasue of you day in day out all i hear is the naems you called me the lies you told i stilll see the pain and damage you did to my life!!!!

GUYS!!!!!!

Have you ever wondered why guys are such dicks half the times! ugh well my last boyfriend ugh i fully hate him, he used me for well he used me and then he goes and dumps me for another girl like how could he do that to me he had no right to do that in any way, i cant talk to mum coz well i dont want her to be disapointed or anything, but what am i meant to do.

Guys are dicks and thats to you jordan you ruined my life so much you used me and now look at me i'm a mess i cant see how guys can do that to people the way they just use us girls for plessure or something and then when we dont give it to them or even when we do they go and move on and ditch us it's like well whats the point in it!! UGH i bet as soon as hes finished with this girl he'll come crawling back to me and ask me out again and you know what i'd say NO F**** YOU i'm never gonna waste my self on u your a jack ass that can go jump infront of a flaming bus for all i care!!!

well other than that life is crap and there doesnt seem to be anything posative going on :(

a book that shocked

Ok so i was reading this book, and it was kind of wierd o begin with and like OH MY GOSH why would some one write about it the books called the lovely bones, it's so creepy like you must be one sort of wierdo to write such a book!!!

Well a book i got when i was in the UK was called naked and it's about this little girl that got forced to go to a newdist camp by her parents she ended getting raped, beaten and then raped again until she broke free, she left the family and refused to go to the camp any more, then she met a boy and she fell in love with him they got amrried and now live happily in england with a family 3 dogs a cat and 4 kids.

Shes so happy and she eventually stepped up in front of court and her dad got sent to prison for 8 years :)

so all in all a bad start in life but a great end in life :)

If your into true stories then i think this is a really good book for you.

A New Life

well i went to engalnd over the holidays to see my friends and family, it wasnt as good as i thought it would have been!Everyone has changed so much and i couldnt believe that people could change so much in like a year too two years,i was shocked but then every one was telling me that i had changed but i dont think i have but obviousley people think i have but honestley i dont think i have i'm the same old chloe i havent changed, well apart from getting into the faith thats changed about me i love going to church, and youth group even though my youth group leaders left and weve got two new ones, Kelly and Richard their really nice people like actually there so full of faith, kindness and everything but i do miss danielle and kerstin so very much they were like sisters to me, but obviousley God has a plan for them thats why they had to go but all i can do is be happy i had the time with them that i did and that there always going to be the people that i love dearly and there always going to be the people that helped me into the faith and showed me that there is a better place to be and that not all things are bad, like there not actually i know things get worse before they get better but i dont mind i spent time with them they got to know me and i loved all the time i had with them it was such a blessing in desgize,but by gosh in england i would never have thought that going back would have made me so happy to have moved over to new zealand with my famiyl, i love it in new zealand and i would go back to engalnd for a holiday but not to live never again after such an amazing time in New Zealand i know that all of my family are ion the UK but i have an extended family in new zealand like all my friends at school and all my friends at youth group and church i love them all to bits there amazing.
xxx

NOW

Ok so it's been over a couple of weeks since i got baptized and life is going great, i'm happy and couldnt be happier until mom and dad broke my happiness with telling me that were going back to england in june, and i'm like but thats when Danielle and Kerstin are leaving thats gonna be horrible, i'm gonna hate it like sitting on a plane for 2 days then going to the UK the only good thing about it is that its really cheap over there, other than that i can't go through all my goodbyes all over again! but yet again i dont have a choice in it, i have to go wih the flow all over again, well i think all i can do is pray and talk to the lord about it and see what he says, but the other bummer is that a couple of days before i go Danielle and Kerstin are leaving which is mad, becasuse i'm going to be so depressed with it all and then to sit on a stinking plane for all that time you must be kidding me!! well i think thats it for today

Will Update soon!!